Headlines ...

I've been reading about Israel and the war over there and it got me to thinking again about just how much I take for granted ALL the time. Wars and more wars and more wars ... I guess that's the way it's alway been, but no one ever seems to heed history.

And then I was reading about the serial killers in Phoenix, AZ. People are scared to even leave their house at night because they have not 1, but TWO serial killers at large, just killing random people. Reminds me of the snipers in DC from a few years ago.

Then I read about the molesting teacher who got probation for having sex with one of her 13 year old students, yet she's STILL sending him nude photos and now it's back to jail she goes. (If she had been a man, there wouldn't have even been a THOUGHT about probation to begin with).

I typically try to avoid being political or depressing in this blog cuz there are plenty of other places 4 that, but fuck, who needs to try? Just read a few headlines!

Good vs. evil, right vs. wrong, all this talk about revelations and living in the last days ... I think that all of civilization after Jesus was resurrected has been the last days, really. There has always been overwhelming evil in the world, but yet we always manage to survive, to advance, to reach 4 the light.

Is there really some kind of despicable darkness in each of us? I mean, really, where does it come from? How does the soul die enough inside a person to make them capable of extreme acts of violence and hatred? I don't understand it, and I pray to God I never will.

"Children waiting for the day they feel good ..." - Gary Jules, Mad World

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Straight Men

I've had a lot of time 2 be online this summer, cuz let's face it, instead of workin' the biz I'm sitting on my ass most of the time. But I have 2 ask, what is the fascination some gay men have with "str8" guys? I mean, if a guy is sucking your dick or fucking U up the ass, he's NOT straight! HELLO! Call it BI, call it denial, call it "down low", call it whateva U want, but STRAIGHT it is not. Everybody's always worried about a label. I've done my share of boys who claimed to B "straight" and let me tell ya, they can take it better than some of the gay guys, so again, straight they ain't!

ANYHOO, I spent some time today with a group of REAL straight guys, and I'm only bringing this up because sadly it's not something that I do very often ... most of my male friends these days are gay ... but, it's just like hanging with gay guys. Just substitute pussy for dick and it's all the same. They are just as freaky and doggish and perverted (if not more so) than we R.

So, whether U like pussy or dick, who gives a shit? Why is it STILL such a big deal? I'll never understand.

We spend more time, even in the gay community, spewing out new ways to be divisive rather than united. Whether it be race, money, sex or whateva, we R constantly try 2 define ourselves by labels.

Well, I have a label. I'm a DEVIANT ... because I strive to deviate from the norm. Now, go pick up my CD DEVIANT, damnit! LOL.

"One love, one life, when it's one need in the night." - U2, One

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10 Funny Things in 10 Days

1. Nipplemania - one nipple biting contest in a lesbian bar starring yours truly. Yep. Don't even ask! That was the same night I played pass - the - hookah with Dan Paul et al. at this intriguing club that my new lovely best-dallas-friend Paul took me to called Minc. I was so drunk that night I had to sleep in my car. And 2 the twinkie I called a big whore, I didn't mean 2 offend ... it was truly a term of endearment.

2. Muffintop - no, it wasn't the fact that the Denny's waitress dropped my english muffin on the floor that earned her this nickname. This comes courtesy of a funny boy who's even snarkier than me: he dubbed this poor child muffintop because her pants, which were way too tight, were pulled up so high on her waist that all her fat rolls just kind of got squished out the side and over her pantline ... making her look like ... well, a muffintop. Rude? Absolutely. But at 4 in the morning, it was absolutely hysterical.

3. Confessions in a Tin Can - I'm more than grateful that I have a car to drive while I'm down here, but this car, let's just say it has personality. It rumbles, it groans, it shakes, it spits out CDs without warning, I think the radio is actually possessed. For one solid week, the ONLY cd it would play was Madonna's Confessions on a Dancefloor. Hell, I might as well have put a gay pride sticker on it that week! Anyhoo, one night I'm on my way to the bars, I'm at a stop light and I'm singing and dancing in my seat as I am prone to do, when a truck pulls up next to me and this howdy doody cowboy muthafella motions for me to roll down my window. Well, I'm in the gayborhood by now, so I don't think he's necessarily dangerous ... he must be one of those Brokeback cowboys. So, I roll my window down. He's kind enough to tell me that my hubcab flew off my tire and was rolling down the street about a mile back. The truly funny part of this is 4 hours later on my way home ... I stop off and retrieve the broken and bent hubcap from the side of the road. This car was laughing at me, I swear ... or maybe it was the vodka.

4. Dumb Wal-mart Ho - I've come 2 expect to find some really stupid people working at Wal-Mart whenever I go there. I'm NOT saying that ALL Wal-mart workers are stupid cuz that would be stupid, stupid! But I'm NEVER disappointed. I went in to take the gay car for an oil change and it was mass confusion. Nobody knew what was going on. It was truly sad. So, I sat and watched them change the oil. They FINALLY give me my sticker and I take it in to pay and oh great, I knew she was stupid from the very first second I laid eyes on her. Smacking her gum, playing with a label maker and adamently refusing to acknowledge the fact that I'm waiting there. Two minutes later, without even looking up at me, she says, "One second." Then she walks away. By the time she comes back a line has started. Does she help us yet? Nope, still playing with the label maker which she can't seem to get to work. Frustrated, she yells, bangs it on the counter and finally turns to me. I tell her I'm there to pay for my oil change and she takes my sticker and walks over to the computer to scan it. The conversation went something like this:

Dumb Ho: It says here they haven't started on your car yet.

Me: What are you talking about? I just sat out in the heat and watched them finish my car with my own eyes!

Dumb Ho: Well, are you sure it was your car? It could have been a car that looked like yours.

And she was serious. I think I may have popped a blood vessel or two. Stupid people really irritate me to no end.

Well, come to found out, the dumb guys outside just hadn't cleared my car in their computer yet. So, frustrated as hell, I went to shop. I came back from shopping and thankfully a nice 80 year old was there to help me instead of the trasy dumb ho. It's a shame, though, that when she checked me out she gave me the wrong set of keys.

5. Meryl as the Devil - What a Bitch! It was glorious! Meryl stole this show in this one, y'all! Devil Wears Prada was really cute, funny and fun. Pirates 2, on the other hand, was confusing, long in the tooth and not funny. Well, Johnny made me smile occasionally.

6. Just Jack - my latest gig? I've been asked to play a gay man. Now that's funny. They even told me to stay in character the whole time. hee hee.

7. Saturn the Star - some drunk bloke at the club here in Dallas actually remembered my performance last year at Baltimore Pride! Small friggin' world! He got so excited he called his friend who had went to Pride with him and made me say hello. It was soooo cute. Then he went away when I wouldn't show him my dick.

8. Mommy - I love my mommy more than anything, so I was very happy she came down to Texas for a week and I got to visit with her. It's also good to know that when she's down I can make her laugh. But she made me laugh, too. I don't know what was funnier, looking under the booth at the restaurant to find her teeny weeny ooompa loompa legs dangling cuz she's too short for them to touch the floor, or her reaction when I told her that the blonde boy who served us our food could come back and "serve me anytime he wanted."

9. The Nutcracker - I'm not a HUGE fan of drag shows by any stretch of the imagination, but I was so impressed by this one drag queen that I actually gave her every last dollar I had in my wallet. Don't worry, honey, I didn't have that many! But the bitch WORKED!! HARD! She danced and did back flips and her claim to fame were these fucking splits where she actually jumped up and landed in a split so hard you could hear her nuts crack! I was in abosolute awe. Or maybe it was the vodka.

10. In Da Club - Saturn doing the humpty dance at S-4 (with NOBODY else dancing, mind U) and actually rapping along with all the words? $10.
Saturn riding his friend Paul piggyback across S-4? $20
Saturn's friend Paul attempting to do double pirouettes while drunk in the middle of the dancefloor at S-4? Priceless!

"Sweetie pie, I think it's your lucky night, I'm getting buck wild tonight, I'm gonna have fun, fun, fun, fun!" - Destiny's Child, Baby's Daddy

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The Second Ring Anniversary

It's hard 2 believe that on June 29th this blog actually turned two years old. Where the hell does the time go? I don't blog nearly as much as I used to and I don't spend any time at all really promoting it or linking it or doing anything with it really, but still I keep it around. I guess it's just a good way for me to reflect without actually keeping a diary, keeping the really personal stuff to myself, of course. I guess one reason I haven't blogged as much this past year is that a lot of really personal things have happened. From almost being killed (it was only God that spared me and my family that day) to coming out of a personal storm with a loved one that I thought was going to destroy me at one point, I've done a lot of growing up this past year and have a newfound respect for time and life. Some things that I have done/figured out since my Second Ring Anniversay:

1. I STOPPED THE MUSIC! I took out my calculator and found out just how much money I've spent on my music career and compared it to how much I've recouped ... and I wept. Then I got over it. Saturn has been hibernating. But he shall make a return ... in a big way!

2. I STARTED A BUSINESS! I started with my music career in mind, mind U. It's doing pretty well so far. I expect it will continue to grow and it's something I actually enjoy. And it has nothing to do with sex and boys, which seemed to be all I ever thought about! Go figure!

3. I'M ALMOST A GROWN UP! Cuz I'm finally in a relationship. With a dude. A beautiful dude. One who actually calls me and considers me and cares 4 me and appreciates me. Whew boy, did I have 2 kiss a lot of frogs to find this prince! Woo - hoo!

4. I QUIT MY JOB! Though I'm not quite starving yet, I have no safety net anymore. I cut it up. And I absolutely don't miss it. If all else fails, I still have my body, right? I think subconsciously I'm just looking 4 an excuse 2 give porn a try. Ha ha.

5. I WANT 2 SAVE THE WORLD! I mean I must. How else can I explain my superhero fetish? From Harry Potter to the X-Men to Superman to my brand new fascination with all things Smallville. God, how did I never realize how smoking hot Tom Welling is? Anyhoo, I think a lot of artists have superhero complexes, rather they realize it or not. Why else are we artists?

For the next year, I hope 2 blog more. I hope 2 love more. I hope 2 f*ck more. I hope 2 travel more. I hope 2 work out more. I hope 2 learn more, write more, sing more, act more, meet more people, discover new meanings in life, buy a house somewheres and make money doing something I actually enjoy 4 once.

4 my third ring, I hope 2 continue a journey that sees me renewed constantly. 2 always feel 18, newly emancipated and seeing the world with brand new eyes of optimism and possibility and fire and zeal, that's the way I always want 2 feel and that's exactly the way I feel right now.

And I end this blog entry asking the same question I asked in my very first blog entry two years ago: 'Does anyone actually read these things anyway?" The only difference now is it doesn't really matter. In ten or twenty years I'll look back on some of this and read it and go 'wow' and be glad I took a little time 2 put some of my scattered thoughts into cyberspace.

"Today is a special day we call our own." - Toni Tony Tone, Anniversay

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